I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
