I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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