I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
