For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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