Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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