yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize