Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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