then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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