Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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