I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
