we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
