mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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