Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
