I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
