i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
