another moral hangover. fuck.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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