5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
