OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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