Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
