i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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