dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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