Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
