was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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