Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am available for nakedness
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
