all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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