She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
