My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize