some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
