they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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