My nipple is on Facebook.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
