He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
