Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
