eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
