Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
