that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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