Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
