you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
