I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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