No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
