You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
