I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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