I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
