News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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