I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
