oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
