did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
