ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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