nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
