every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
