u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Drunk is not a location!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
