Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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