I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
