How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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