Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
