every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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