You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
