Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
