I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
