overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
