I need help removing her.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
