Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
