So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
